Funniest Parenting Tweets: What Moms And Dads Said On Twitter This Week

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Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. So each week, we round up the most hilarious 140-character quips from moms and dads to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more!

Imagine having kids...

Wrong, you don't have time to imagine anymore.

- Simon Holland (@simoncholland) September 18, 2014

Things my kids haven't fought about today:

1)

2)

3)

- That's Parenting (@ThatsParenting) September 27, 2014

Just saw a cement mixer truck on the street and got excited.

THIS IS WHAT FATHERHOOD HAS DONE TO ME!

- Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) October 3, 2014

WANTED:

Babysitter. Preferably right this second.

- John Willey (@DaddysinCharge) October 4, 2014

4-year-old: *sees a kid in the store* She goes to my daycare! She's my best friend in the world!

Me: What's her name?

4: I don't remember.

- Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 28, 2014

Do you like toys? Then McDonald's is the only choice!

- my 4yo trying to convince his brother where we should go for dinner

- Father with Twins (@FatherWithTwins) October 3, 2014

Read last week's Funniest Parenting Tweets Of The Week and browse all past collections here.

Amount of damage will it cause times how long it keeps them occupied divided by amount of alcohol in the house.

- Parenting algorithm.

- Noir (@Go2Slp) October 2, 2014